Awake But Not Alive
by BokuNoLies
Summary: If Hikaru wasn’t stupid with his words, the most vulnerable part of Kaoru would have never taken over; no one should have taken advantage of him. HikaKao
1. Chapter 1

Awake but not Alive

Summary:

If Hikaru wasn't stupid with his words, the most vulnerable part of Kaoru would have never taken over; no one should have taken advantage of him.

Prologue:

Broken Butterfly

"_Death and Love are two different things but aside from their inevitability, pain makes them synonymous."_

Chaste, his kisses were chaste just like his touches. It was marked on his torn flesh; carnivore bitten kisses, feather light touches, hot and hungry friction of body against body. He was alright, if that were the actual things that's been happening to him, but no it wasn't.

It's more discrete, somehow it's still the same but it's more of a torture than pleasure.

There he was chained in a broken headboard. The reflection of the luminous full moon refracts on his broken figure. He was beautiful, just like porcelain. It was something astral; the way he shined that night, while lukewarm substances and torn flesh were being emphasized by the light.

How many? He wanted to ask himself. He wanted to know how many flaws would he see when he looks at the mirror. Would he be that distinct to the features of his mirror image? In one glimpse, would the princesses distinguish him and Hikaru? Would they tell them apart without even trying?

He had guessed that maybe yes, they could distinguish. He was far different from Hikaru now. He had so many unwanted scars from inside and out. He couldn't even feel his body moving, was it because of the broken bones, the broken rib cage and limbs? Or was it because of the hilt deep knife stabs and the hard friction of knuckles against his petite form.

Nothing was left untouched. He was left broken from top to bottom. It was cruel, for him to experience such torture. It was unfair. But he was already broken, even after the hungry and lustful touches that his new found friend was giving him. Hikaru had already broken him into thousand pieces.

It really didn't matter to him then, but when he was roughly taken from his peaceful abode. He felt fear rush into his body. He wanted to scream—Hikaru. But he remembered that his older twin wasn't there anymore. He was with Haruhi and he shouldn't ruin it, just because Hikaru told him that they were no longer…_Brothers_.

Kaoru wanted to cry that time. He flinched a bit, when he tried to move his chained hand. He felt the dripping of blood from his swollen wrist. He didn't know how he'll last this torture. It was hard. He can forget the pain but the torture and the emotional trauma? It would take forever to recover. He doesn't even know if he'll live for another hour.

"…Nii-chan…" Kaoru choked out. He still hasn't seen Hikaru so he can't die, just yet. He still wanted to say sorry. He knew it was taboo to love his own brother but who could help it? It was an accidental confession; he didn't want to say it out loud. Yes, he was an embarrassment and he admits it.

But Hikaru of all the people should have understood. Kaoru had given up so many just for his happiness. He should have never been harsh. He should have think of the consequences.

Kaoru coughed hard. He could taste his own blood. It scares him but dying is not his priority. He still needs to apologize and be Hikaru's brother again.

Kaoru smiled bitterly as his breath became rasp and rigid; his muscles then tensed a bit when he heard sudden footsteps. He closed his eyes, fear rushing his body once more. If this torture keeps up, he really would die soon than he expects.

"I need to get out of here, somehow" Kaoru whispered, fear still eminent in his eyes. He laughed harshly and tried to wish away the pain. He was strong so he needs to get this by, even on his own.

He then heard again the footsteps, the blood kept on rushing fast and his body is tensing so much. Kaoru then closed his eyes, wiggling his chained hand trying to break the headboard, not caring if he bled more.

"Shit, they're here…" Kaoru groaned, while he shifted his position. He was trying to hide his face. He was crying and god he cant stop it from falling down his cheeks. The pain of his aching body started to act up. It's as if it were teasing him the whole time.

"Why start now? Why hurt now?" Kaoru choked out as he continued to sobbed, while the sound of the footstep kept on getting closer.

The sound of footsteps suddenly stopped. Kaoru's eyes then widen; his face gone pale and his body stopped moving, while his breath started to become more rasp. The door knob started to move and the door creaked as it opened slowly.

"Enough!! Please, No Mo—"Kaoru whimpered, eyes filled with tears. He couldn't pronounce the words well; he was choking his own blood.

The figure on the door remained still, as if he was staring at the weak boy before him. Both afraid to move, something seemed to force them to stay still until—

"Hikaru, he is waiting…go!" The familiar feminine voice echoed in Kaoru's head. The voice was so familiar it was—

_Haruhi…_

"Kaoru…I-I'm" Hikaru whispered shakily. He was crying, just because his baby brother was in so much pain…because of his, his stupidity.

Kaoru opened his eyes then, amber eyes locking with identical ones. He was happy to see his beautiful Hikaru, his brother. But when he saw Hikaru and Haruhi's hand locked together; his blood boiled and he glared at the figure that stood before him.

"…_I hate you_" was Kaoru's word, before everything turned black.

It echoed in the room; Kaoru's words and it made the room deadly silent.

A/N: This is an introduction, a little glimpse on the story. I had re-written the first that I've submitted. This is my first Ouran Kokou Host Club fan fiction. Hope you like it. Please be nice, kay?


	2. Dear Readers

Dear Readers,

I'm leaving , but someone took my works. Awake but Not Alive would be continued by a friend. I know I'm an amateur writer so my loss wouldn't be a shame. But since someone loved my stories and she embraced on continuing where I left. I'm giving Tsukasa Mizushima-sama full credit on continuing it with my and her plot combined. The new chapters and the prologue of Awake but Not Alive would be posted in her account.

Thank You…

Kryz-Chan


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